I have NO idea where he learns some of this stuff... I swear.

ince we are now settling into our new home and our new lives, we are trying to spend some quality time together as a family. For the last couple of weeks, we have been treating ourselves to dinner on Sunday night and sampling some of the local restaurants in the new neighborhood.

Last Sunday we tried a little Italian place close to our house. Good food but overpriced – it was just pasta after all, and even if you flew it in from Italy, I know it is NOT worth that much money… but I digress. The place has several TVs inside of the location, giving it a casual if not even sports bar atmosphere. All the TVs were tuned in to different sports. One of the TVs was tuned into a dirt bike competition. Skywalker was sitting there and asked, very casually if he could have a dirt bike. I almost chocked on my $13.95 eggplant parmesan. I had to decline his request. Then the negotiating began:

S: “But Mooooom, why not?”

Me: Because you are too young and it’s dangerous.

S: But my friend So-and-So has one and he is one year younger than me!

Me: What is his last name?
S: Dangerous
Me: What is your last name?
S: My mother is a pain… (That’s what it sounded like when he said the last names)
Me: Are they the same? No? Then that’s why he has one and you don’t.
S: But Mooooooommmmm….

At this point Sunshine jumped in and pointed at the TV… just in time for Skywalker to see a major accident replay. “THAT is why you are not getting a dirt bike,” he said. Skywalker’s response? “You guys don’t let me have anything.”

Since I don’t like such generalizations, I asked him what he was talking about. “I asked for a dog and you also said NO.” Ah, the DOG conversation. I reminded Skywalker about his failed attempt on being a pet owner, which ended with us having to give away his guinea pig… less than a year ago. “Oh,” he said, “but you won’t let me have a cell phone either! I have to wait until I’m 13!” I reminded him that I had promised to THINK about it when he was 13 not that he was going to get one then. And then, my son pouted. Sunshine and I just started laughing at his reaction. We were once again the “meanest” ever (so if any of you thought you had the title this week, we have usurped it). As I paid for the delicious dinner that I had just provided my son, including the dessert that HE wanted, I told him that once he could have a dirt bike, a dog, AND a cell phone – “Yeah, I know, when I can pay for it myself, in my own home,” he said. (Have I said this THAT many times?)

As we walked home from the restaurant, my NINE YEAR OLD SON turned around and said, “You know, when I move out, I AM going to have a dog, AND a cell phone, AND a dirt bike… I will have a nice pad, where I can entertain the SWEET LADIESSS…” Sunshine caught me as I simultaneously tripped, choked on my own spit, had heartburn and had this image of my son:

“Let it go. Don’t worry,” said Sunshine, “with that repertoire, the line of ladies will  probably be a bunch of posters taped to the wall.”