Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Technology… a two edged sword…

Web Cams at school…

The good news is that Mom can keep an eye on you during the day, so she knows that you are safe and having fun.

The bad news is that Mom has proof that you can do chores without complaining, like getting your nap mat ready all by yourself.

The really bad news is that you have big, poufy cheeks and even with low resolution, she saw you smiling through the process. BUSTED.

Monday, June 7, 2010

Can you hear me now?

Last week I did the one thing I have never done before. No, I did finish all my ice cream. No, I did sneak upstairs to watch a movie at 3 pm without the hubby and the kids instead of spending quality time with them. No, I actually killed my cell phone. I am debating if it was my fault or if it was my cell phone’s way of telling me that it didn’t like me much.

I have never been shy or secretive about my love for gadgets – although I must admit that I am not as geeky as other people I know. Still, the gadgets can only be purchased when there is an actual reason to purchase them rather than just having a collection of items in my home. I mean, if it were up to Sunshine, we would live in the Jetson’s home, but I can’t afford his dreams of electronics…. Bill Gates can’t afford his dreams of electronics. So, when I need an electronic device, I get the coolest item out there, but I won’t go and get an iPhone (although I would LOVE one) just because my phone is still working and I have a contract. It’s called discipline. It’s called budget. It’s called many-nights-hoping-that-I-can-get-my-hands-on-one. Still, like I have said before, the children like to be fed and clothed (who knew?) so I can’t splurge all the time.

Still, earlier this year I dropped my Motorola Q phone one time too many (after 2 years with it with a toddler at the time!) and the screen cracked. Shit. I was still living in the Appalachia Region and the AT&T service up there is spotty at best, so I couldn’t take the chance to get the iPhone. So I went to Verizon (my service provider) and got myself an Droid. Pretty cool phone. Now, I don’t like going to places like Sears and being offered a $30 insurance plan for a $40 item that already comes with a 1 year warranty, so I always decline those. I can’t remember if I got insurance offered for my new phone… it doesn’t matter, I didn’t get it. I renewed my contract and off I went with my $600 phone for the low price of less than $200. Then, two months later, we moved to a metropolis where AT&T service is great. Crap.

So now I have the wrong phone (but still pretty cool) and I am stuck with the contract. Sigh. I’ll live. There are other worst things in the world than not having the right phone right? Right. Like not having a phone at all… Enter my dad (parents are always guilty of what happens to you, right? I am getting ready to be blamed for my children’s mishaps). He is sick. He is going from one doctor to the other. Daily updates. So, like a wonderful daughter that I am, I carry my phone with me all the time. When I am at work, I usually take my phone out of my purse and leave it on my desk until the end of the day, but since my dad is sick, I was carrying it with me now. Put it in my pocket if I walk away, you know, just in case.

Last week, I forgot about my phone in my pocket. I went to the restroom. As I go to sit I hear PLONK! Yep. Phone went straight into the toilet. After that 1 millisecond between CRAP! I dropped my phone in the toilet and SHIT, I HAVE TO PUT MY HAND IN THERE TO GET IT!!! I thought of the plan, the expense, my dad, and took it out. The phone was in there a total of 2.3 seconds. It seems that if your phone is on and it comes in contact with the water, it is immediately fried (I think that the people who design these things don’t have any children. Really? Who designs a phone that won’t survive 2.3 seconds in water?) I didn’t know that. Here I was in the stall, pants around my ankles, pulling toilet paper like crazy trying to dry this expensive piece of communications, all while I desperately needed to pee.

I wrapped up the phone in paper towels (yes, I peed AND WASHED MY HANDS THOROUGHLY too) and brought it back to my desk. I googled “phone” “toilet” and saw that there wasn’t a lot of hope for me or my phone. I took the battery out and when I got home I put the thing in a bag of uncooked rice and on top of a warm place for 3 days like the hope-mongers on the internet had suggested. At the end, I had an expensive paper weight. I went to the store when they told me about the “insurance”. Since I didn’t have it, I could get a refurbished phone for about $300 or a new one for $600. I walked out without a phone. I went to e-bay, craiglist… the phone was the same cost. Stupid phone. I could’ve gotten a cheaper phone, but with work, I need data processing. Stupid phone. Jumping out of my pocket onto certain death. Every person that heard about my phone being dead asked the same stupid question: “Did you have insurance?” No… if I had insurance I wouldn’t be sitting here trying to give my chest compressions (I told people it had fallen into a bucket of water, not in the toilet)?

Finally, one if the IT guys at work told me that they have some spare phones in a drawer downstairs. Would I want a phone? All I had to do was transfer the number to it! Yes! YES I DO! He came upstairs with… A DROID!!! He told me: “If you have the chargers for this one, you can have it.” So now I have a phone again. Exactly the same phone. Free of charge. Gotta love the IT guys! They are the angels of electronics! (I hear choirs every time they save my work!)

And by the way, did I mention that the same weekend my phone died, so did the hard drive to our PS3? That one was under warranty. Not a good weekend for electronics in our home. But when we got the Wii and got the extended warranty offered, I TOOK IT.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

I don’t need no stinkin’ lists…

I am not old. I don’t care that my birthday is coming in a couple of weeks and I am pushing 40. I am NOT getting older. Sunshine turned 40 this year and after I the kids made sure to let him know that it was a BIG number, he just jokes and tells me that when you get “that” age, the mind is the first thing to go. I don’t believe him. I am sharp! I can remember ANYTHING!

When I go grocery shopping, I take a list because Sunshine is in charge of cooking in our home (I can cook, but this is his one of his departments) and he knows what he needs. I LOVE grocery shopping, so I take care of that with the list he compiles for me. Still, I don’t need any other lists. Armed with this knowledge, Mini-Me and I headed to the store to buy 2 things: a pedometer (I lost my new one 2 days before I start my walking program at work) and a disposable cell phone (that’s another story). As we were walking out, my shopping buddy asks me: “Do you have a list?” A list? “Son, (use your best Blazing Saddles voice here) we don’t need no stinkin’ lists…” So off we go to Wal-Mart.

I walked in to Mecca the store. Of course, we don’t need a cart or a basket for just two things. As I walked in, I remembered: nail files. I need nail files. So we go to the Beauty Section. As we go through, I see the body lotion. Oh, I need that – so we take two. As I look for the nail files I remember I need lipstick and eyeliner. Check. So we get the items and the nail files. Mini-me is walking with me with a dazed look on his face as I start picking stuff from the shelves. He offers to help. Awesome. So we have the stuff and head towards electronics. Crap. Skywalker needs a white T-shirt for school. Oh, I’ll get that on my way out. We talk to the guy in electronics. What’s the difference between this crappy expensive phone and that less crappy and more expensive phone? Oh, Ok, then, I will take this one. By the way, can we pay for these other items here? No, Mini-Me, we are not getting any DS or Wii games today. Oh, yes, here is my card. Yes, thank you and have a good day too.

We were on a mission. We went, we saw, we purchased, we conquered. Leaving the store, we noticed that it was pouring outside. That’s cool. I take Mini-Me’s hand and make a mad dash to the car. Have you ever noticed how slow children move when they are getting in the car? I mean, they are in the car already, so they are not getting wet anymore, so what’s the hurry to sit in the booster seat and get their foot out the way of the door? I shoved put Mini Me in the car and jumped into my seat. We laugh at how wet we are. We head home.

Ten minutes down the expressway I realize it. I forgot the pedometer. Damn it. And the T-shirt. Crap. Don't tell Mini-Me... he might start calling me old.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

I see London, I see France…

What makes you a male or a female? Is it the XY chromosome combination? No. Is it having a beard or not? Nope. Is it wearing make-up? Nah. Is it having a penis? Of course not! Is it the ability to have babies? We could go forever talking about the physical and psychological characteristics of what makes a human being a male or a female. In this world, where the lines are so blurred (I mean, men giving birth and wearing makeup, and we all know at least a couple of women that could use a shave) we constantly wonder what is it that makes us one gender or another.
Mini-me has the answer. This last weekend, he wanted to help me with some bags after our shopping trip to the grocery store. He slung the bag on his shoulder and said: “Look Mami, like a girl purse!” I said to him: “Are you a girl then?” His response (pretty loudly of course): “Of course not, silly. I wear underwear and girls wear panties.” “Is that what makes you a boy or a girl?” “Yep” “You’re a girl; don’t you wear panties, Mami?” Softly: “Of course I do”… And then I thought… but if I did ALL the time, I wouldn’t be having this conversation in the middle of the cashier area in Wal-Mart, with 20 people laughing at me because you wouldn’t be here for it… but I wouldn’t have it ANY other way.